The above video is a clip from a comedy Television show "In Living Color". The woman starts off her routine in a very complimentary fashion and quickly makes a turn for the worse into rumors and judgments. To top it all off, she refuses ownership of the foul toxic waste her mouth is dishing out by denying everything, "I ain't one to gossip so you ain't heard that from me!". But, we just did heard you gossip! How is this like life? Deeper still, how is this like your life?
What is it about us that can be so kind and compassionate one moment and brutal the next? Think your "nice" 24/7? Then think back to the last family holiday party you attended and what you thought or said about family members on the car ride home. Think about your last Sunday at a place of worship where everyone was kind, smiley and you sang praises to God and then think too about the car ride home and the people you judged or gossiped about since. The person you said "Oh! So glad to see you!" while you couldn't get away fast enough. Could you imagine what a Church service would be like if all our TRUE thoughts were made audible? It wouldn't be so pretty now, would it? There is no need to despair though because it is quite natural. This very paradox is seen in nature. We have gentle creatures like doves, and deer while we have other creatures that eat their partner or their young. Ducks are cute and cuddly but if something is wrong with their young, they are tossed aside and left to fend for themselves and thus die. Same holds true of our beautiful little "birdies". And don't forget, we are still from nature and tied to nature in some sense.
All one needs to do is look at the news around the globe or the lives of people. There is an increasing meanness regarding how countries treat their people. Those who are wealthy and have greater power accumulate it all on the backs of those they have made into the "less" than-s. The whole Syria refugee crisis is just one example. However, we like to believe that there are "good" people and "bad" people out there. Whose to say there aren't but by and large, we are all a mix of both. It comes out often at work with employees who are never satisfied, and employers who take advantage of their employees.
One real sick way this plays out is in religion. We turn Jesus into a mamby-pamby real "nice" guy who is about as exciting as an episode of "Murder, She Wrote!" and sterile. We turn Mohammed into a divisive architect of war and violent jihad. All of this to suit ourselves and groups. All of this because we cannot reconcile these dual realities within ourselves that fight to be heard. Love and Hate. Compassion and Selfishness. Anger and Kindness. A great way to treat this in religion is to pick a side and mask the other as a secret 'dark' side.
We can really afford to learn something from the Chinese theory of ying and yang.
Wikepedia states this:
Yin and yang can be thought of as complementary (rather than opposing) forces that interact to form a dynamic system in which the whole is greater than the assembled parts. Everything has both yin and yang aspects, (for instance shadow cannot exist without light). Either of the two major aspects may manifest more strongly in a particular object, depending on the criterion of the observation. The yin yang (i.e. taijitusymbol) shows a balance between two opposites with a portion of the opposite element in each section.
Of course, where the theory breakdowns for functional society is when the Daoist state that morality is nothing but a perception. Should people treat each other selfishly and crappy because it is more "real" to how we perceive morality? Is that what we want to experience on the job or in our places of worship? Would if everyone walked around with their own moral code based on their own perception? And don't we do this somewhat already (dismissing things like gossip but hard on stealing). The great thing about evolution is that we know things now that theorists didn't know back in the past. We can grow in our knowledge base. What do you think is the balance?
Carl Jung talks about human beings having various drives, energies, or as he calls them "archetypes" that are part of the subconscious and must be in balance for optimal emotional health. It is a subconscious counterpart to instinct. There is a Warrior side that is assertive, the "get r done" side. There is also the Lover side that is passive or more submissive, sensitive, romantic and thoughtful. There is a King side that wants to bless others, mentor and teach. Last a Wild Man that is unpredictable, wants to take risks and just get a little wild. These sides of us can be experienced in opposition of each other. We can suppress some and over emphasize others to our own peril. Again, a ying and yang of sorts. Theoretically speaking, where do you operate most in this theoretical archetypes? Where do operate least? Any of these you see as "bad" or "weak"? Until I learned about this and paid it any mind (because I had exhausted all other means and measures). I operated almost completely from a "Lover" side. I loved the lover side and the organizations under my religion re-enforced a dominance of this side to me. They insisted on a perfected Jesus, one who was born so perfected, from a virgin, that they omitted things like "even he (Jesus) had to learn obedience through what he suffered." (Hebrews 5:8). There was no way God had anything to learn, or adapt to. Only weak human beings had to do that...and yet God came as a human being...hmmmm.
Balance is the key and no matter what kind of circle of belief system you follow or how much it may change, we must come to grips with all sides of us, and not see them as good/bad, but rather find the balance and let them find their place in our lives. It is then that we turn and "repent" from the sin of unbelief and the predominance of drives run a muck while completely suppressing others.