How Loneliness Might Be Hurting Men
As a bit of a recluse myself, I've always struggled with the balance of loneliness and socialization. Many people aren't aware of a men's movement that began a long time ago that stresses men need each other. This site called "The Good Man Project" addresses a number of such mysterious questions that men face and the people that love them from a men's movement type of perspective. The premise of the men's movement is reclaiming a balanced masculinity which includes the concept that men need other men. One such organization that carries on the flame of this movement is The Mankind Project, www.mkp.org of which I have been involved in the past for a number of years.
In the animal kingdom, the males are often the least social of creatures. Yet, no one is sitting down with these males animals trying to figure out what is wrong or change it. Therefore, as a man and as a writer, I have dealt with this issue for quite some time. I tried to inject myself into a number of different groups such as the revolving door of church and single’ groups I have definitely benefited from them. Yet, I probably treasure my alone time and time with a significant other even more now that I experienced others. Before these groups, it seemed all I cared about was the elusive best friend. Still, friendships bring great value and sanity into our lives. Men need to vent with buds as much as women, when they find the need, vent with their girlfriends.
Our society with all its creature comforts and isolationists tendencies with video games, internet porn -if that's your vice- and all the rest, are the muse to men's isolationist god. Society sanctions the go-it-alone life and actually feeds into it. However, when it comes down to it, I think men will always have to find some way to push themselves to remain social because we humans are not just animals. In all honesty, we have both male and female traits. All humans start as females in the embryo which is something we just learned in recent years. I believe that as males we do need the socialization and touch of other guys as much as we need our space too and alone time with our significant other. The effect of handshake, grasp of a shoulder, high five and even so far as a hug is something that guys have long been doing and really shouldn’t go extinct. It is at least enough that I can't do without it though maybe not enough where I would let it impede my alone time and efforts to find that love match.