Love is My Battlefield --by LA Jamison

The war of loving self and others is not easy.  

The battlefield can be cold.  

If it was only yourself you were fighting,

it might be easier to find someone to hold.  

The situations in life can be hard

but the people on whose wings can carry them can be colder still.

Dress warmly now,

because the coldness of it all can bring quite a chill.

A lot is lost in this war for love,

my sanity, my innocence, 

my trust, and my virginity,

control over my body,

my dreams, my money, & self esteem.

There will be new losses.

I will win back old ones too,

only to lose them all over again

just in a way that is horrifyingly new,

while more winter winds pass by,

hallowing with cries of regret,

the winter is never over

just as this war isn't finished with me yet.

Even so, I will press on against brutal winds

fighting the battle of love and self,

aware of many losses,

that yet,

bring wins of a higher quality. 

See, I won more than I lost in this war,

I won the truth,

knowledge and wisdom,

learning who my real friends are,

Re-gaining my power,

experiencing life all over again,

a greater sanity and more humility,

an appreciation of nature's vibes & harmonies,

most of all,

treasuring even more so, my family.

A stronger trust in God,

less in man's attempts at religion, 

setting boundaries

moving out the toxins

like shooing a way a smelly pigeon.

Gaining a stronger, yet softer praise,

and nothing beats a rich sense of humor,

seeing others as they are,

appreciating the 'now',

and not letting the past make me walk in stupor.

I have the wisdom to know when it is time to ask for help

hope and the love is somewhere in my heart,

these two endure forever,

that's an eternal jackpot

so pardon me while you scheme,

I'm going to pull on that lever.