The war of loving self and others is not easy.
The battlefield can be cold.
If it was only yourself you were fighting,
it might be easier to find someone to hold.
The situations in life can be hard
but the people on whose wings can carry them can be colder still.
Dress warmly now,
because the coldness of it all can bring quite a chill.
A lot is lost in this war for love,
my sanity, my innocence,
my trust, and my virginity,
control over my body,
my dreams, my money, & self esteem.
There will be new losses.
I will win back old ones too,
only to lose them all over again
just in a way that is horrifyingly new,
while more winter winds pass by,
hallowing with cries of regret,
the winter is never over
just as this war isn't finished with me yet.
Even so, I will press on against brutal winds
fighting the battle of love and self,
aware of many losses,
bring wins of a higher quality.
See, I won more than I lost in this war,
I won the truth,
knowledge and wisdom,
learning who my real friends are,
Re-gaining my power,
experiencing life all over again,
a greater sanity and more humility,
an appreciation of nature's vibes & harmonies,
most of all,
treasuring even more so, my family.
A stronger trust in God,
less in man's attempts at religion,
moving out the toxins
like shooing a way a smelly pigeon.
Gaining a stronger, yet softer praise,
and nothing beats a rich sense of humor,
seeing others as they are,
appreciating the 'now',
and not letting the past make me walk in stupor.
I have the wisdom to know when it is time to ask for help
hope and the love is somewhere in my heart,
these two endure forever,
that's an eternal jackpot
so pardon me while you scheme,
I'm going to pull on that lever.