10 Signs You May Be Entering The Gay Middle Ages

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Maturity does happen even for us party wheeling gays.  Here are some signs that you may be maturing and ready for a serious relationship.

 

1. When you tire of being showed hot models by every gay contact you have via phone and social media. Yeah, I get it. They are hot and most of us won't have a model's body because we can't spend our lives in the gym. How does this help me in any way to know that you think this other guy is hotter than both of us combined?

 

2. You wish there was a better way to make a relationship happen than apps like Grindr. From spam robots trying to get you to hand over your credit info to watch a cam show, to the 400 lb guy in a diaper, or the shirtless guy who thinks he is too good for you, you're wondering when you can take down the "Gone fishing" sign and find a real man.  

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3. You're relieved when a "hook-up" doesn't work out because it wasn't what you wanted anyway. What was once exciting with a mild case of nerve wracking is now just frustrating and long and drawn out as well as totally nerve wracking. You know you really want a life partner at this point anyway.

 

4. You have little patience for "yabba dabba do" Fred Flintstones conversations on gay apps that lead no where. You know the responses:  Sup?, Hi., Nice Profile. Cock pic?

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5.  You get a little freaked out by guys who insist they must see your butt hole before they even know your first name.  I always got a kick out of The American Pie movie where the main character suddenly get's excited that he has been seen and used as a sexual object, i.e. at least sexually attractive. By middle age, that really wears thin.  We aren't interested in being a tool. Buy a dildo perv. 

 

6. You find yourself at bars doing things you hope no one will remember simply because you were bored and fed up with all the younger guys getting all the attention.  Oops, did I do that? 

 

7. You have to remind yourself as you enter a club to not weigh others around you down with the struggles of your adult responsibilities... because those around you aren't interested. Why? They are often here to forgo the responsibilities you can't avoid any longer. 

 

8. You may google some less than "hot" things in your search engine; libido boosters, testosterone enhancers, hair replacement, how to get into shape, and tips for finding a relationship minded partner.  

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9. You may not use it yet but you wonder if those facial and hair coloring things really work for when the gray starts to show or completely dominate your bushes.

 

10. You now know what the status "Partnered but just looking for friends" really means.